Today's post is a very personal one. Let me start by saying this was the 2nd hardest decision that I have ever made in my life. We've prayed, gotten frustrated, analyzed, and sobbed together. In the end, I know that I am doing they right thing because of the peace I feel in my heart. Peace like this only comes from the Lord.
Over the last 4 months, I have fallen in love with a precious little boy and the job of being his mother. Not every day has been wonderful. In fact, I might be so bold to say that many of my days have been tough. So, why do this? Have you ever dreamt of something? Have you ever made your dreams come true? Mine did. My dreams came true on: May 14th, 2005, June 25th, 2005 and March 26th, 2009. I graduated college, married my soulmate, and welcomed my son on these three days. Since I was a little girl, these were my dreams. I remember telling people that I would do these things and in that order...I'd describe how I would go to college, start a career, get married, buy a house, have children, get a masters degree, and
love happily ever ever. I am living my dream. God has given me my dreams.
So, my big decision was which do I sacrifice for the other? Knowing myself, I cannot be a good wife, dedicated educator, doting Mommy, and full time graduate student at the same time. I honestly didn't want to let any of my dreams go...afterall, I've labored so hard for each. I decided to be a wife, mother, and full time graduate student. I feel excited and defeated at the same time. Why defeated? I don't quit; and, I feel like I am quitting my 3rd grade team and school. I know that my position can be easily filled...but, it is
my position. I know that another educator will teach, but I hope he or she loves those little boys and girls they way I have the last four years. I will be back, though. I am so excited to pick up my masters program and pursue my degree in Counseling. I feel that I can begin to touch lives in another way.
Please remember me in your prayers as I learn to let go of one opportunity for another.